I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
