Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
