Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
