can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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