I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
