If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
