how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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