After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
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Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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