you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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