is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
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mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
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There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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