My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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