i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
