they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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