guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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