Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize