Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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