do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
