She said her name was "party"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
