Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
