Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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