i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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