I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
