we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
