Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize