I accidentally had phone sex last night
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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