I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
