dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
His hands were made for my vagina.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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