he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
