meet me or not, i'm out of control
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
