love makes seman taste better
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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