I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
