I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
