Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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