I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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