I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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