I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
