Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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