For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
