I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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