And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
