It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
