this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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