I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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