All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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