i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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