My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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