Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Help. Why am I so naked?
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