He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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