We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
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don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
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But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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