I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
