Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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