Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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