Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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