wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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