why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Naked Twister starts at high noon
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
