my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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