how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
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The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
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The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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