I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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