she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
